04:56 PM
Pastime Remembrance

It's one of those days, like so many other days, in the fall, going back to school, walking home carrying school books, boys out on the field for football practice, the breeze cooling everything, leaves beginning to fall and scuffle under my feet...

I'd like it cooler but I'll take this! It may be hot again tomorrow, it may be humid but I don't care! This moment, with the breeze blowing in and the sounds of autumn all around, I'll take this.

10:34 PM
Music· Pastime Walking in the past

It's not just his voice....or the way he plays his guitar, it's his foot pounding on the stage in rhythm to the beat. It's quiet parts where he stops playing his guitar and his voice takes on a whispery sound and he reachs out with his hands and he pours out everything he's ever felt and it washes over me and reaches deep inside me...

His music is amazing, but it's his performances that are magic. Even watching it on TV, it's all there, on the outdoor stage at the VMAs with a soft foggy rain blowing over him and Miami Steve and Clarence....and then they cut away to the VMA opening credits and accompanying music and the moment is gone.

Bruuuuuuuuuuce, Bruuuuuuuuuuce....

I remember the stories he would tell, about driving thru the swamps of Jersey, they'd be playing some song and around the middle, the music would get quiet and he'd start talking and Steve and Clarence would come in close and share the microphone and he'd tell this story.

And nobody would leave, even at the end, they'd turn the lights on while he sang Rosalita come out tonight and people would stand up and clap and stomp and sing along. And nobody would leave.

Bruuuuuuuuuuuce, Bruuuuuuuuuuuuce....

02:27 PM
Pastime And the world fell down

A year, almost a year now. I slept late that day as usual, I was keeping the phone turned off in the bedroom so that I wouldn't get woken up by wrong numbers. I got up near 11 am and turned on the computer, started email and all these news alerts from CNN started pouring in, 2, 3, 5, 10, 15, I figured it had to be a glitch in their system because they wouldn't send that many unless the world fell down, right?

The world did fall down.

I opened the first few and tried to open the CNN site and saw only terse updates, none of their usual pics and columns and I turned on the TV and then I called my mom who said she'd tried calling me (my answer was I live a block away, come over!) and then I just sat stunned for hours in front of the TV, watching those pictures over and over, unwilling to believe that all those people were just gone.

Just gone. Not there anymore. Chicken Little was right.

Along with all our illusions about the friendly skies and tall buildings. Even here a good long distance from where it really happened, I can remember how scary it was. And so strange to have the skies empty within hours and then to hear fighter jets flying over. And days of news, people trying to find answers and villains to blame.

In the words of Merry Lynne: I suppose the world I went to bed in on September 10th was just as dangerous a place as the world I'm going to bed in tonight. But it *feels* worse tonight, because on the tenth I took the eleventh for granted. I know better now.

And now Bush talks of war, of invasion, of toppling one idiotic tyrant as if that will cure the world's ills with the snap of his fingers.

10:17 AM
Pastime I Remember

We slept together, his hand in my crotch and the other over my breasts. From time to time his hand would twitch and tighten in my crotch.

In all those years, we never did have sex, not the act itself. We did lots of other stuff, made out, got each other off, but we never had sex.

Must have been February of 1999, that time we slept together, I was packing up and clearing out things to move here.